Talk Without Speaking

We’ve all got buttons that can be pushed and we all have limits that we can be pushed too. Beyond there, you get what?

I’ve been conscious of my own limits a lot lately. Since Dad died I’ve tried to go a little easier on myself and realize that my limits are not where they might normally be. I’m only too aware that if I was to bump into someone in an equally frail point when *I* was having a bad moment it could result in disaster.

And so that came to be.

I’m not going to go into all the details – it’s all a little too personal to share here but suffice to say that I was frightened by myself and giving myself entirely over, even if only for a short while, to rage and anger and frustration and letting that pour out of me like flame was not a pleasant experience. It’s hard to see that in myself. It’s eye opening.

The casualty? One phone. Hell, I don’t think I destroyed it enough to be honest. If I could have willed that phone out of existence with my anger in that moment, I would have. I can’t think of an explosion, implosion, detonation, ignition, bang, blast or frackin snap, crackle and pop that would have been enough for me and I was sadly limited to taking that phone and smashing it into the floor with all my might and fury.

One phone for one father? Not a bad trade, I have to say. I’m sure that others, in similar situations, have destroyed far more including their own lives.