Talk Without Speaking

It’s strange. Or is it funny? Or sad? All of the above? None of the above? I don’t know. My brain doesn’t know as it doesn’t know how to think about many things.

What I do know is that my parents got engaged on Valentine’s Day and I wasn’t up for much. I just kept thinking about…well…about how she was missing her Valentine this year. Firsts. There is no control over the triggers.

We went to give blood. I thought that I had managed to catch up to Catherine but it turns out that, despite her accidental nose-piercing year-long disqualification, she is still one bloodletting ahead of me! 10-9. /cry I did manage to bleed faster though so, there’s some comfort in that

The nurses find it strange that I find the process so soothing. Not that you are allowed to but I could easily fall asleep giving blood, I am so calm. Yesterday I pushed away the emotion that was threatening to take me down in there, chatted with my favourite nurse and then flew through the final pages of my book.

What’s funny (in the I-am-not-laughing category) is that I never had a reason to give blood before. I did it because I could and I thought that was worthwhile. My blood type (A-) is one that is only shared by 6% of people and yet it can be given to 49% of people. I remember the woman who was on the cusp of passing out from nervousness – she was there because of a sick family member and I’m sure that’s a common reason among donors. I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to look at it quite the same way again and I hadn’t been in there since my father died even though I have ample reason now.

56 days to go. I’m encouraging Catherine to get a tattoo (a further year disqualification)