Talk Without Speaking

Can’t believe the news today
Can’t just close my eyes and make it go away

Chris asked me how I was doing and without really thinking about it I responded, “I’m riding the wave”. Did I go overboard? Did I abandon ship? Or did I foolishly swim out here a la Corfu? It doesn’t really matter how I got here. What I mean to plainly say is that I feel out of control � the waves take me up, the waves take me down and you might as well just flip the coin to see where I might end up today.

Waves of regret, waves of joy
I reached out to the one I tried to destroy.
You…you said you’d wait until the end of the world

It sucks. I’m not going to lie. I look over my blog entries over the last couple of days and even *I* start to feel down reading it. I hate the fact that I have no control over where my emotions might fling me next and it is frustrating just feeling down and out. I dislike writing about unhappiness here even though that is where I am. I know I have good reason and that doesn’t make it any better. All I know is that, right now, this is a needed outlet for me and if I don’t talk about it here then I’ll just bottle it up until I explode and I’m already melting down quite enough thank-you-very-much. I do feel like I’m using up my moping credit with you, my friends but I can’t change. Just please stick by me; don’t give up on me.

How long?
How long must we sing this song?

I wish I could simply do my druid trick of shape shifting into a bear (I far prefer the cat) if only so I could find some damn cave and hibernate until the spring and the flowers have come and this pain has passed.

We’re wounded by fear
Injured in doubt
I can lose myself
You I can’t live without

At least I’m well hydrated.