Talk Without Speaking

ok I have a sneaking suspicion that this will be a bit of a saga. Normally I don’t use the “more’ link but I think that this post might warrant it. So, feel free to click “more” if you want to learn the truth about the MAGIC BUTTON, PayPal customer service nightmares (with a happy ending) and you have some time on your hands.

way back when, when the earth was young, I bought a computer. I bought it with one of those 6 months no interest, no payments deals. I had the moola but I thought, “Why pay now when you can pay later?”. 6 months go by and I need to pay for the computer so I got to the bank. They force me to buy a money order instead of giving me a cheque (another story) but I end up paying the computer off no problem.

later the same day I am volunteering on Granville Island and I get hungry so I go to take some money out of the bank machine. It informs me that I have exceeded my daily withdrawl limit. Ok, fine. I go to get a cash advance on my VISA and *it* tells me that I have exceeded my daily withdrawl limit. Grr. Call bank.

CSR A: unfortunately the limit is magnetically on your card - there’s nothing we can do. It’s impossible for us to change it here.

CSR B: unfortunately it is impossible for us to change. You can come to the branch and we can issue you a new card with a higher limit.

Manager A: unfortunately the limit is magnetically on your card - there’s nothing we can do. It’s impossible for us to change it here.

Me: Fine. Thanks for your help. I’ll be in there first thing on Monday morning to pay off my VISA and close my account; I’m going to move to another bank.

Manager A: Can you hold for a moment?

I need not finish really - of course they come back on not 30 seconds later and tell me that I can now take out money with the same card. They have pushed the MAGIC BUTTON.

<zap - fast forward to today>
Last week I won an eBay auction (U2’s Boy album). I go to pay for it with PayPal. PayPal tells me that I need to verify my card before I can continue with the transaction. I’ve been using Paypal for 3 years I’d like to point out but this doesn’t seem to dawn on the computer. I finally break down and email their Support department.

They say that you can only verify one VISA credit card.
I say, “That’s fine, I only want to verify one”
They say that I can use a Mastercard of AMEX
I say that I only have VISA
They say that you can only verify one VISA credit card.
I try to understand why the one VISA that I *do* have cannot be verified

They finally give me a phone number for their support department.

CSR A: very nice guy. After I explain the whole thing he tells me that this is due to a VISA policy which only allows for one VISA to be verified. You need to verify the card to allow for unlimited payments through PayPal (even though this CD is only $5 I have apparently exceeded my limit). According to him I verified a VISA card years ago. This rings true to me but I had my wallet stolen a couple of years ago and so (obviously) needed to change my VISA number. According to this guy this means that I cannot verify my existing VISA although I can verify a Mastercard or AMEX card. I mention that I am not about to go get a new credit card just so I can continue to use PayPal. he understands. he is very sympathetic and very empathetic. He tells me that he will transfer me to an “specialist”. At this point I get disconnected.

CSR B: Call back - explain all of this ALL over again. argh. very nice woman tells me that I need to speak with someone in credit card services.. Transfers me. Miraculously, this works.

CSR C: talk to very nice credit card services guy. start story again. he speaks with a specialist who tells me that I need to talk to a supervisor. he says he will transfer me. I get disconnected.

I would laugh if I wasn’t so frustrated. I feel like these people really want to help except that they have all received absolutely no training on how to use the obviously very complex TRANSFER button on their phones. I go play 4 games of foozball.

CSR D: very nice woman. Struggling to be polite and patient I start story from the beginning. Thankfully A, and C have made notes on my account saying that they disconnected me. very nice. Apparently I need to talk to a supervisor but she assures me that I will not be disconnected. Hold for 3 minutes and when they come back they tell me, “Ok, you can now use your credit card without limits”. Thank God - I have found the person who can press the MAGIC BUTTON.