I had a dream the other day where I was being confronted with a police review board who were looking over my application. They decided that they had made a mistake in not hiring me and offered me the job. Very soon after I woke up and when I realize that it was just a dream I feel so, so sad.
The emotional energy that I put into my police applications was pretty gigantic and when I didn’t get into the RCMP I really feel like I bottled up all of that disappointment, placed it in a room and closed the door. I really haven’t been thinking about it very much in these last few months so this dream really took me by surprise. My response to the dream more so. For the moment, I felt like I had left this behind.
More demons come and haunt me on the volleyball court. I’m my own worst enemy. Again, I got frustrated because we were playing so beneath out potential. I, too, missed so many hits in a row and ended up just getting so frustrated and angry with myself. This, of course, just ends up becoming self fulfilling.
My best spike of the night, again, was a Dark Side spike, fueled by anger. Gotta fix this.
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i kinda know how you feel, on a smaller scale. i was gearing up to apply to join the military, when a friend of mine who used to be a recruiter informed me that they absolutely don’t accept people with asthma, even as mild as mine is. i’d been really excited about applying and had been working really hard to prepare myself.. it was quite a let down.